Well, she doesn't and can't control me! I come and go as I please. I always have and I always will! She needs me to do that anyway! If I didn't she wouldn't know half of what she does now. She wouldn't even have done half of what she has done already. She wouldn't remember what she needs to remember. Yeah, sometimes I may seem mean and cruel, but sometimes it takes the harsh way to make her remember.

--DarkWolf

We're upset with Stormy a little. She is such a control freak. She is learning to control when we come out. She can hear us in her head but as far as coming out, if she is thinking about us, she can control some of us from not coming out, not even to share time, but others of us our stronger and can come out anyway. Some of the weaker ones though, they can't. They need to though, to help her remember.Stormy has to face the past. If she doesn't, she won't heal and if she refuses to heal she can't get on with her life.

--Stormie Leigh

SEx, sex, sex, that's all he's worried about! He'll stay in this funky-assed mood until she gives in and gives him a little and then everything will be fine, but does it matter that she just doesn't want to have it? Fuck no it doesn't matter. He's going to walk around her in a bad mood until he gets his way because he knows if he does that she'll give in and give it to him and that's a bunch of bullshit! SHe shouldn't have to do that!

IT'S BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo! It's DarkWolf comijng at ya today. Thought I would write a few lines to see if it would relieve the stress going on inside of me. I feel all caged up right now.

When Stormy isn't paying any attention we can slip right in and share time with her but when she IS paying attention, like at the tdoc's sessions, she makes it impossible for us to slip in and talk to the tdoc ourselves. I don't know what I would actually say to the tdoc if I could slip in, but it would be nice if I could talk to the woman myself. Maybe I will just write her a letter in the journal pages that Stormy gives to her each session. That would work.

I have a lot of horrid memories because it was me that most of the stuff happened to. Well, I took 99% of the sexual abuse while Slone took 99% of the physical abuse. We ALL took the verbal and the emotional abuse, even Stormy. There was just no real way to protect her from that unless we zoned her out completely and we were afraid of losing her if we did that to her.

She is coming back out of a depressive cycle right now, which is good. It plays havoc with all of us when she is depressed or manic. We feel the effects too, just not as extremely as Stormy. Well, except Chrissy. She feels them every bit as much as Stormy and it is hard to see little Chrissy go through that. Little Stormy seems to feel them a lot more then us too. Maybe it's because they are kids and they sense it more? I don't know.

Well, that is about all I have to say right now. I just needed to get that out.

Later.

DarkWolf